REVIVAL OF RELIGIOUS LEARNINGS IMAM GHAZZALI'S
IHYA UL UM-ID-DIN
THE BOOK OF WORLDLY USAGES
CHAPTER V Love and Brotherhood 87
Rights of friendship and brotherhood' 101
LOVE AND BROTHERHOOD
Love for one another and friendship and brotherhood for one another is the best way for nearness to God. We shall describe in this chapter (1) love and friendship for God and its conditions and rules, (2) duties of companionship and its rules and (3) duties to the Muslims, relatives, neighbours and rulers.
MERITS OF FRIENDSHIP AND BROTHERHOOD Know, 0 dear readers, that friendship is the result of good
love for one another and bad conduct is the root of hatred, envy and enmity. The result of good conduct is praise worthy. The merits of good conduct in religion are not secret. God praised His Prophet : You are certainly upon a sublime character-68:4. He said :. Attributes which will take the majority of people to Paradise are God-fear and good conduct. Hazrat Osamah-b-Sharik reported : We asked : 0 Messenger of God, what good attribute has been given to man ? He said : Good conduct. The Prophet said : I have been sent to perfect good conduct. He also said : What will be heaviest in the Balance will be good conduct. He said : God has not made the conduct constitution of people such that fire will burn them. In other words, Hell-fire will not be able to burn one whose character and constitution are beautiful. The Prophet said : 0 Abu Hurairah, you should take to good conduct. Abu Hurairah asked : 0 Messenger of God, what is good conduct ? He said : Keep the tie of relationship with one who cuts it off, forgive one who oppresses you, give charity to one who deprives you.
Some traditions have come in praise of friendship. When the tie of friendship is love God, its merits are high as seen from the Quran and traditions. God says after showing kindness over the entire creation : If you spend everything what is in the earth, you cannot create love in their minds, but God has placed love in their hearts-3:102. He said : By His grace, you have been united in brotherhood. He condemned separation and disunity by saying: Hold fast to the rope of God unitedly and be not separate-3:102. The Prophet said : One who is the best of you in good conduct is
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nearest to me. The Prophet said : A believer loves and is loved.
There is no good in one who does not love and is not loved. The
Prophet praised brotherhood among the Muslims and said : God gives a friend to one whose good . He intends. If he forgets, he reminds him. If he does not remember, he helps him. The Prophet said : If two brothers meet with each other, they are like two hands one of which clear the dust of the other. If two believers meet with each other, God gives benefit to one from another. To give encouragement of friendship for God, the Prophet said: If a man makes brotherhood for God, God will increase his rank in Paradise and will not reduce anything from his actions. Hazrat Idris Khaolani said to Hazrat Muaz : I love you for God. He said It is good. I heard the Prophet say : Chairs will be placed round the Throne for one par_ ty of men. Their faces_ will be b like full moon. The people will be afraid, but they will not be afraid. The people will be perturbed, but they will not be perturbed. They are the friends of God and they will not have any fear or sorrow. The Prophet was asked : 0 Messenger of God, who are they? He said : Those who. love one another for God. The Prophet said : There `are pulpits of light around the Throne. A party of men will be seated therein. Their dress will be of light. They are not Prophets or martyrs but the Prophet and martyrs will envy their rank. They asked . 0 Apostle of God, narrate to us their qualities. He said : They love one another for God, they sit together in an assembly for God and meet one another for God. The Prophet said of the two men who love each other for God The mare beloved of God is one who loves his friend more. God says : I shall make their children attached to them and nothing will be reduced from their actions. The Prophet said that God says : My meeting becomes sure for those who meet one another for Me. My love becomes sure for those who love one another for Me. My help becomes sure for those who help one another for Me.
The Prophet said: God will say on the Resurrection Day Where are those who loved one another for Me ? There is no shade to-day except My shade. I will give them My shade. The Prophet said : On the day when there will be no shade except the shade of God, He will place seven persons under His shade-(1) a just ruler, (2) a young man engaged in divine service. (3) a man who is attracted towards the mosque after he comes out of it, (4) two persons who love each other for God, meet each other for
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God and keep company with each other for God (5) one who remembers God in loneliness and as result his eyes shed tears, (6) a man who does not respond to the evil temptation of a beautiful woman coming from a respectable family and says : I fear God, and (7) a charitable person who keeps his charity secret, so much so that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives. The Prophet : If a man meets another for love of God and hoping to meet Him, an angel proclaims from behind him : You are blessed, your foot steps are blessed, paradise for you is blessed. The Prophet said : Once a man wished to meet his friend for God. God sent secretly an angel to him who asked him : What do you intend? He said: I intend to meet my brother. He asked him: Have you got any necessity to him ? He said : No The angel said : Has he done any _be_nefit to-yo_u ? He__said :_No.. The angel said -Then why are you going to meet him ? He said : I love him for the sake of God. The angel said : God sent me to you with this news that 'He loves you as you love him and that Paradise is sure for you. The Prophet said : Love for God and hate for God are the firmest faith. For this reason, a man should have enemies so that he may hate them and should have friends so that he may love them.
Once God revealed to a Prophet: You have hastened the happiness of Paradise for you for your renunciation of the world, You have got honour near Me for having renunciated the world to come to Me. Have you done enmity for Me or have you made friendship for Me ? The Prophet said : 0 God, let no sinner do any benefit to me, as my love may grow for him. God revealed to Jesus Christ: If you do alone the divine services of the inmates of the heaven and earth but do not love for Me and hate for Me, it will do no benefit to you. Jesus Christ said : Be dear to God by having enmity against the sinners and be near to God by keeping away from them and seek pleasure of God by displeasing them. They asked him : 0 the Spirit of God, with whom shall we keep company? He said : With such people who remind you of God if you see them, whose words increase your actions and who arouse eagerness in your mind for the actions of the next world when you see them. Once God revealed to Moses : 0 son of Imran, if your heart is awake, seek friends for you . The friend who does not meet you with My pleasure is your enemy.
God revealed to David: 0 David, why are you in loneliness after giving up the society of men ? He said : 0 God, I have
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adopted loneliness for Thee. He said : 0 David, beware seek friends for you and do not take those friends who do not help you for My pleasure, they are your enemies. They will make your heart hard and keep you farthest from Me. David once said to God : 0 Lord, how is it possible that all the people will love me and obey the message of religion ? It was said : Treat with the . people according to their nature and make good what is between you and Me. In another narration. Treat with the people of the world with the nature of the world and treat with the inmates of the next world with the nature of the next world. The Prophet said : Those people those people among you are dearest to God who love and are loved, and those people among you are dearest to God who love and are loved, and those people among you are objects of greatest hatred of God who roam with slanders and create disputes among brethren.
The Prophet said : There is an angel of God whose half-body was created of fire and half of ice. He says : O God, as Thou hast created tie between fire and ice, crete love in the hearts of Thy pious servants. He said : If a man makes friendship for God, He creates for him a rank in Paradise. The Prophet said : The mutual lovers of God will live on the long pillars of red emeralds. There will be seventy thousand rooms on that pillar. From them, they will peep at the inmates of Paradise. The brilliance of their look will illuminate the inmates of Paradise. The brilliance of their look will illuminate the inmates of Paradise as the rays of the sun illuminates this world. The inmates of Paradise will say to one another . Take us to see those who loved one another for God. On their foreheads, it will be written-Lovers of God.
Hazrat Ali said You should take to friends . They will be counted in this world and in the next. Have you not heard about the inmates of Hell-1-1. We have got no intercessors or bosom friends? Hazrat Abdullah-b-Omar said : By God, if I fast all days and pray all nights, spend all my wealth in the way of God without account and if I die on the day with no love for those who obey God and with no hatred for those who do not obey God, it will be no use to me. Hazrat Hasan Basari said : 0 children of Adam, let not the following word deceive you-He who loves one will be with him, because you cannot earn the rank of the pious people without doing their actions. The Jews and the
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Christians love their Prophets, but they do not act according to their injunctions. This shows that only love without actions will be of no use. The sage Fuzail said in one of his sermons: It is strange that you wish to live in the Paradise of Firdous and in the neighbourhood of the Merciful with Prophets, truthfuls, martyrs and pious men. but what actions you have done for it, what passions you have given up for it, what tie of relationship you have united after it was severed, what faults of your brother you have forgiven, and what distant persons you have brought near for God.
God revealed to Moses: What actions have you done for My pleasure ? He said : 0 Lord, I have prayed to Thee, kept fast, paid charity and Zakat. He said : Prayer is a clear proof for you, fast is a shield for you, charity is your shade, zakat is your li ht, but what actions have you done For Me? Hazrat Moses said : 0 Lord, show me such an action which will be only for Thee. God said : 0 Moses, have you taken any friend for Me and have you made any enemy for Me ? Then Moses came to know that the best action is love for God and hatred for God. Hazrat Hasan Basari said : To hate the sinners is a means of nearing God. A man once said to the sage Ibn Wase : I love you for God. He said : He loves you for whom you love me. Then he said : 0 God, I seek refuge to Thee from a persons who loves me for Thee, as I do not know Thy love. Hazrat Omar said : When one of you gets love from his brother, let him stick to it. Such a man is rarely found. The sage Muzahed said : When two lovers meet with each other and and express gratefulness, their sins drop down from them as the leaves of trees drop down in winter season The sage Fuzail said : If a man looks to his brother with affection and kindness, it becomes his divine service.
DISTINCTION BETWEEN LOVE FOR GOD
AND LOVE.FOR WORLD
Know, 0 dear readers, that love for God and hate for God are secret. What we will discuss will lift the curtain therefrom. This friendship is of two kind-(1) love for God and (2) love for the world. It is not love for God if there is love for a neighbour, love for reading together, for trading in the same market or travelling together in a journey. But if there is there the intention of love for the sake of God, it will be love for God. There is no doubt that there is not merit unless a work is done willingly, and love he gets from willingness.
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Loves has got two conditions. Firstly, a thing is loved for its merits and not to reach the beloved by its help or for no other object behind it. Secondly, it is loved to reach the goal by its help. This object also is not confined to this world only but is connected with the next world or with God. In this way, love is of four kinds.
(1) First kind: A man is loved for his own merits. It is possible that a man can become an object of love of another in a natural way, when he sees him, knows him and thinks him good after seeing his character and conduct. Everything beautiful is an object of pleasure to a man who loves beauty. There is another thing for love. That is the internal qualities. The Prophet said Souls are the arrayed soldiers. Out of them, those who know one another love one another and those who do not know one anot er ave got erences o opinion. The cause of difference is absence of knowledge of one another and the cause of love is knowledge of one another. Love grows out of acquaintance. In another narration the Prophet said : Souls are arrayed soldiers, one soul meeting with the other soul in the horizon becomes near. Some learned men explain it by saying that God, after creating souls, let them off in the air and they are roaming round the Throne. The souls which know one another in the air meet one another in the world and love one another. The Prophet said The souls of two believers meet with each other from a distance of one day's path though one soul has not seen another soul. The Prophet said : When a believer enters an assembly of one hundred hypocrites and only one believer, he will sit near the believer. If a hypocrite enters an assembly of one hundred believers and of one hyporcrite he will sit near the hypocrite. It is seen from this that the same nature attracts one another though they have got no acquaintance. The sage Malek-b-Dinar said : Out of ten persons, two cannot agree, but if the nature of the two is the same, they agree. This proves that a man loves another man of the same nature not for gaining any benefit, not for acquiring wealth, but for their nature being the same and for their internal qualities being the same.
(2) Second class: A man loves another for gaining the love of a third person. The thing which becomes the means of a dear thing becomes also dear. For this reason, gold and silver are dear to men although they have got no attribute of their own, as they cannot be eaten, nor used as clothes but they are the means of getting these
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things. These are men among the people who are loved like gold and silver, as they become the means of reaching the destination or gaining the goal and by their help, wealth, name and fame are earned.
(3) Third class: A thing is not loved for its sake, but for another thing which is not for good of this world but for good of the next world. It is open and not secret, as for instance, to love a spiritual guide who becomes the means of gaining spiritual knowledge. His object is to get success in the next world. Jesus Christ said : He who acquires knowledge, acts according to it and teaches it to others is termed noble in the spiritual world. Knowledge is not complete without students. So student are the means of the teacher for perfection. The teacher loves the students as a father. It is a step towards progress. He who spends ,his wealth for his friend, dresses him with cloth, maintains him with food, keeps him in a house to live in and helps him in all affairs and whose object in doing these things is to give him leisure for divine service is an object of love for God. In days of yore a party of rich men used to supply food to the religious men and loved them. He who marries with the object of getting such a son who will pray for him and for that loves his wife, is also an object of love for God. For this reason, there are ample rewards for spending money for the members of the family, even for a morsel of food which a husband lifts up to the mouth of his wife. Jesus Chirst said in his invocation : 0 God, don't allow my enemies to become pleased with me, don't create trouble in the way of my religion, don't make the world a great object of my anxiety and remove the pleasure of my enemies from the wealth of the world. He did not pray : Don't make the world the root of my anxiety. Rather he said : Don't make the world a great object of my anxiety. The Prophet said in his invocation : 0 Got, I pray for Thy mercy, so that I may gain the glory of Thy honour in this world and in the next. He also prayed: 0 God, save me from the calamities of this world and the next.
This world and the next world mean two conditions of which one is nearer than the other. So if a man does not love the happiness of to-day, how can he love the happiness of to-morrow? Surely he should love the hapiness of tomorrow as to-morrow will turn into a lasting condition. So it is necessary to enquire into the lasting condition. The pleasures of this
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world is of two kind: -(1) One kind of pleasure is opposed to the pleasureofthenextworld and isa stumbling block. TheProphets and friends of God were careful of this kind of pleasure. (2) Another kind of pleasure is not opposed to that of the next world and this was not prohibited for them, such as marriage, lawful eating,etc.
(4) Fourth class-Love for God and hate for God.
It is self-less and disinterested love. This is the highest kind of love, most secret and subtle. Love of this kind is possible, as if this love surpasses beyond limit, it spreads towards the things which have got connection with the beloved. A lover even loves the things of the beloved and he even loves those whom the b
loves those who praise and glorify the beloved and try to please him. Baqiah-b-Walid said : When a believer loves a believer, he even loves his dog. The lover Majnu, therefore, sang:
When I went to the house of Laila, I kissed its wall.
Love is not for the wall, But for its owner.
If love is strong , it spreads more. Love for God is similar. When love of God envelopes the heart, it rules the heart and it even spread over everything The lover then sees His power in everything. He who loves a man loves his handicrafts, his letters and all his actions. For this reason, when a fresh fruit was brought to the Prophet, he placed it upon his eyes, honored it and said : It has become with the help of my Lord. Lover reduces the pangs of lover. The love of a party of men reaches such height that they say : We don't distinguish between sorrow and happiness as all come from God. We feel happiness at His pleasure. The sage Samnun said
I am happy at Thy pleasure,
I have got none near or distant,
So do to me what Thou art pleased with.
He who loves a king, loves also those persons whom the king loves and even his servants. A sage said : When pain gives pleasure, can there remain the pangs of wound ? The proportion of love for a man is known in proportion to the giving up of dear
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things for him. The reason is that when love for a person envelopes his entire heart, love of other things does not remain in his heart. Therefore, a friend of God gives in charity to please God everything he has got. For this reason, Hazrat Abu Bakr left nothing for his family when the Prophet called for charity. Even he sacrificed his little daughter for the Prophet.
Hazrat Ibn Omar said : Once the Prophet was seated with Hazrat Abu Bakr who put on long shirt tied on the chest with a bell. Gebriel got down and said to the Prophet : 0 Prophet of God, why shall I see Abu Bakr covered with a long shirt? He said
Because all his wealth he gave in charity before the Conquest. Gebriel said : Tender salam to him from God and tell him that his Lord is saying to him : Are you satisfied or dissatisfied on
7 id 0 Abu Bakr, he is Gebriel. He tendered you salam from God on account of your want. He said : Then Abu Bakr wept and said : I am satisfied with my Lord.
HATRED FOR GOD
He who loves God has got no alternative but to hate for God, because one who loves a man for any of his good works hates him for any act contrary to it. These two things, love and hatred, are connected with each other and cannot be separated,. When these two things are expressed in words, they are named friendship and enmity. God said to Moses : Have you made friends and enemies for My sake ? You love one whose nothing is disclosed to you except allegiance and you hate one whose nothing is disclosed to you except sin and bad conduct. Different conducts are united in a person for some of which he is loved and for others he is hated . He is loved for one reason and hated for a different reason. A beautiful wife who is a sinner is loved for her one attribute by her husband and hated for anothe%. A Muslim can be loved for his religion Islam and can be hated for his sins.
Hate is to be expressed by words and actions. If hate is expressed by words, you stop talking with a sinner and sometimes use harsh words. If hate is expressed by action, you sometimes harm a sinner and destroy his evil design. That occurs in proportion to his sins. When he-is repentant, you keep his sin secret. When you love a persons, you hate him also for his fault in these ways-you protest against his evil actions, you go away
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from him, you do not look at him, etc. These are modes so far action is concerned. One stops his help and sympathy and another tries to destroy his necessary works, so that he may not commit any sin. Mostah-b-Asasah once spread a slander against the character of Hazrat Ayesha. Hazrat Abu Bakr used to help him by giving him charity. When it reached his ear, he stopped his help with a promise that he won't help him further. Then this verse was revealed : Those who possess wealth and sufficient means among you should not swear that they would not give in charity to their near relations, the poor and the refugees in the way of God but let them forgive and pardon. Don't you like that God should forgive you ? 24:22. Though the sin of Mostah was great, yet Hazrat Abu Bakr felt restless in his mind for that event. It is the habit of Siddiq to forgive one who oppresses.
r ers an ea men wi em: ere are two classes of sines, either (1) they have got no faith or (2) they commit sins in their actions and deeds. Those who have got no faith are either unbelievers or innovators. Innovators are of two classes-one class call towards the views opposed to Shariat and another class remain silent. Those who remain silent are compelled to do so or dot it willingly. So there are three classes of sinners in the matter of faith.
(1) Unbeliever. If he is at war with the Muslims, he can be killed or made a slave. There is no other punishment except these two for him. A Zimmi (one who has been give protection) cannot be given trouble, but if he protests against Islam, he can be given trouble. To make him humiliated is to make his livelihood narrow, not to salute him first, not to mix or to carry on trade with him, not to make enjoyment with him like friends. God says:. You will not find a'people who believe in God and the next world to make friends with those who oppose God and His Prophet even though they may be their parents, children, brothers or relatives-58.22. The Prophet said : 0 those who believe, don't take my enemy and your enemy as friends.
(2) Innovators Innovators call towards innovation. If innovation leads towards infidelity, its law is more severe than that of a Zimmi as he cannot be given the advantage of a Zimmi. If it does not lead to infidelity, its law is lighter. The innovator calls the people towards misguidance as he believes his views to be correct. So his evil is also unlimited. The best way to express
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hate for him is to give up his company and rebuke him for his innovation. The Prophet said : God fills up the mind of a man with peace and faith who rebuke an innovator. God will keep one safe on the most grievous day who disgraces an innovator.
(3) Ordinary innovator: If the people do not follows him or hie is unable to bring them to his views, his affairs is easy. It is better to treat him harshly at the very beginning. It is better to advise him first with humility. If it is not effective, it is better to
turn away from him.
(4) Sinners: The sinners' who disobey the injunctions of God by their, actions and not by their faith are of two kinds-a sinner who gives trouble to another by his actions, such as oppression, misappropriation, false evidence, slander, back- biting, etc. and a sinner who does not give trouble to another by%uch a,-tions. Such a sinner also has got two conditions-(a) either he invites others towards sinful acts or (b) he does not invite others towards sinful acts, for example, a man drinks wine but does not call other to drink it. Thus there are three kinds of sinners. (1) The actions of the first kind of sinners are, injurious to a great extent, such as back-biting, false evidence, oppression, etc. It is better not to mix with them and not to transact with them. They are of three classes-(1) those who murder men, (2) those who take movable properties of men by oppression, and (3) those who take immovable properties of men by oppression. It is better not to mix with them. The greatetthe guilt, the greater the punishment.
(2) The second class sinners create the causes of disturbance and make easy its different paths to the people. They do not give any trouble in the mundane affixirs of the people but injure their religion by their actions. Such as sinner is to be humiliated and his connection should be cut off..
(3) Third class sinner. He who commits a great sin by drinking wine, by giving up compulsory duties or doing unlawful things has got light, measure. If a man sees him to commit these sins, it is compulsory on him to prohibit him, be it by beating him or by taking other measure, because it is compulsory to prohibit an evil action. If he is habituated to do it, he should be given advice if there is possibility for him to give up those actions. If there. is benefit in treating with him harshly it should be done. If it is useless to give him advice, one should be
led by his consience to take a suitable measure against him. It has been narrated that a drunkard was beaten several times before the Prophet but still he did not give up drinking wine. One of the companions said : God's curse on this drunkard. The Prophet said : Don't be a helper of the devil regarding your brother. This
means that the devil is sufficient for the man. You should not rebuke him.
CONDITIONS OF FRIENDSHIP
Know, 0 dear readers, that every man is not fit for friend, ship, The Prophet said : 'A man is upon the religion of his friend. So let him look with whom he befriends/' Make friendship havin a look to a '
condition to get benefit, of their qualities of your friend and search to get temporal and spiritual benefits. Wealth, name and bargain are the temporal benefits. This is not our object. The benefits of religion are the following (1) to get education and learn action, (2) to get benefit of saying oneself from name 'and fame which cause anxiety of mind, (3) to gain wealth to maintain oneself, (4) to seek help in necessary actions, in dangers and difficulties and in many other actions of life, (5) to get blessings of the invocations of a friend, (6) to hope forgetting intercession of a friend in the next world. A certain sage of yore said: Increase the number of friends, as every believer has got the right of intercession, and you may hope to fall in the intercession of your friend. God say : Those who have faith and do good works will seek intercession and He will increase His favours on them. To explain this verse, there is a Hadis that believers will make intercession for their friends and God will admit them in Paradise along with them. It has also been said in explaining it
that when a man is forgiven, he will get right of intercession for his friends.
There are*some conditions of these benefits which we shall describe now. The man with whom companionship is to be kept should have five qualities in him-intellect, good conduct, not to
be a sinner, not to be an innovator, not to be a worldly addicted man.
(1) Intellect: It is the root of wealth and there is no good in the company of the fools and the illiterate. Hazrat Ali said in poem:
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Keep no company with the fools.
Break friendship with the fools.
When a wise friend keeps up patience, Illiterate friend becomes then impatient A wise friend known in danger, Illiterate friend leaves him in disaster
An illiterate leaves him in disaster.. Though he wants to do benefit, he will do you harm, as he is ignorant. For this reason, a certain wise man said : .
You will remain safe.
If a wise man becomes your enemy
the batter may fall in danger. How many insane there are,
who knownly to commit murder.
Imam Sufyan Saori said: It is sin to look at the face of a fool. A wise man is he who understands all leis actions and a fool is he who has got no sense of right and wrong and who does not
understand it even it is dictated by othgrs.
(2) Good conduct:. A friend should have good conduct as many wise men take things as they are in their normal mood, but when they get angry, sexual passion, miserliness and cowardice gain supremacy, and he conduct, himself according to his whims and acts contrary to his wisdom. There is no good in havipg
friends like him.
(3) Religions nature: A friend, should have religious nature to give benefit. There is no good in. keeping company with a sinner. He who fears God cannot-be engaged in great sins., but if a man does not fear God, you can'i'besafe from his harms and can't trust in his words. He changes according to the change of ' necessity. God says : Don't follow one whose heart I have made forgetful from ft y remembrance and who follows his passions. God say : Let hint ept turn to one who does not believe it and follows his passion Cod says : Turn away from one who turns away from My m*nembrance_and intends nothing but this world's life Gq says : Follow E itlt of one who turns to Me, You will understand from this that it is lawful to turn away from
the great sins.
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(4) Innovation : It is the duty of one to have no connection with an innvoator . What benefit will accrue from his help ? Hazrat Omar gave encouragement for religious nature of a friend. He said : You should make friendship with the truthful, because in that case you will live under their care, as they increase happiness in time of joy and remove difficulties at the time of sorrow. Bear well the affairs of your friends, keep your enemy distant and warn your friend, but don't keep a trusted man of a people distant. He who does not fear God is not a trustworthy man. Don't keep company with a great sinner. Don't give clue to your secrets to him. Consult with those in all your
affairs who fear God.
The sage Alqamah Attar advised his son at the time of his
ear son, i you ee necessity of making friendship, make friendship with such a man who will save you if you save him, who will increase your beauty if you keep company with him, who will help you when you fall in a trouble. If you extent your hand of good towards him, he will also extend his hand of good towards you. He will help you in any good work you undertake. He will remove any evil if he sees in you. He will give you if you want something from him. He will begin with you when he remain silent. He will be sorry when any disaster falls on you and gives you pain. He will confirm your word as true when you speak. He will advise you when you intend to do an action. He will place your opinion above when there arise difference of
opinion among you.
The sage Jafar Sadeq said: Don't keep company with four persons- (1) a liar, you will get deception from him and he will make the the distant near and the near distant; (2) a fool, you will not get any benefit from him, he will do you harm if he goes to do your benefit; (3) a miser, he will forsake you at the time of your dire necessity; (4) a coward, he will flee away after surrendering you in the hands of the enemies ; (5) a great sinner, he will sell you in lieu of a morsel of food for a thing of lesser value. Hazrat Junaid said ; The friendship of a transgressor with good conduct is dearer to me than that of a learned man with bad conduct. The sage Bashar Hafi said: Friend are three--(1) a friend for your next world, (2) a friend for your present world, (3) a friend to console your mind. The Caliph Mansur said : Friends are of three kinds-(1) One kind of friends are like food and there is no
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alternative but to get their help, (2) Another kind of friends are like a medicine and their help is necessary at times. (3) The third kind of friends are like an epidemic disease and there is no
necessity of them at any time.
It is said that a party of men are like some trees which have got shade but no fruits. Those trees are like those persons who come of no use for the next world except for this world and the benefits of this world disappear soon like the disappearance of shade. Out of them, there are some trees which have got fruits but no shade. They are like the persons who came of no use for good of this world except good of the next world. Some trees have got both fruits and shade and some trees have got neither fruits nor shade like Bakul, trees whose thorns pierce clothes and which have got no cat^b'P things. They are like snakes and rats. Hazrat Abu Zarr said : Loneliness is better than a bad companion. and a good companion is better than loneliness. God say : When the illiterate call them they say salam, it means : We are safe from your sins and you are safe from our evils. Hazrat Ali said : If a man gives life to your action, keep your religion alive by keeping company with him. Loqman advised his son : 0 dear son, keep company with the learned, as heart is then enlivened with wisdom as a land is enlivened with rain-water.
THE RIGHTS OF FRIENDSHIP AND BROTHERHOOD
The tie of friendship and brotherhood is like that of husband and wife. As some rights and obligations arise out of wed-lock, so also some rights and obligations arise out of the tie of friendship
and brotherhood. These rights are eight.
(1) Right in wealth and properties. The Prophet said : Two friends are like two hands, one of which washes the other. Similarly friendship is completed when one of them keeps the other, as if they are one and the same and they share the enjoyments of each other. There are three stages of self- sacrifice for each other. (a) The lowest stage is to bring down his friend to the level of a servant and to give him charity at the time of his need from his excess wealth. When a friend falls in want, he should give charity to him without asking from the excess of his wealth. If he drives him to the level of asking, he will then transsgrerss the limit of the demand of friendship. (b) The second
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stage i s to bring his friend down to his stage and remain satisfied by making him sharer in his properties. He will also come down to his stage till he becomes equal partner with him. Hazrat Hasan Basari said: Once a friend divided his shirt into two portions and gave one portion to his friend. (c) The third stages is to place the needs of a friend above his own needs. This is the rank of the truthful and is the last limit of the three stages of friendship. The result is I'sar or the sacrifice of one's need for the other. It has been reported that a party of bad people made defamation against a party of religious men. As a result, The Caliph passed order for the execution of the religious people. There was the sage Abul Hasan Nuri was one of them. Before all of them, he advanced towards the gallows and said : Hang me first : On being asked the reason of his desire for death, he said : I wish to s
life. This was the cause of the saving the lives of the religious men. Mamun-b-Mahran said : He who is pleased with his friend by giving up good things, made friendship as it were with. the inmates of grases.
Stage of the world: It is not pleasing to the religious men. It is said that the sage Otbatul Golam went once to the house of his friend and said : I have got need of four thousand coins from your wealth. He said : Take two thousand coins. He turned his face at this and said : I adopted God in lien of this world. Don't you feel ashamed that you claim friendship for God but place the love of the world over friendship ? The sage a Abu Hazem said : When you have got a friend for the sake of God don't engage him in your affairs of the world.
Highest Stage: God praised the believers in this verse : Their affairs are settled by mutual consultations and they spend out of what I have provided them with . In other words, they mixed their wealth and did not distinguish it. If anybody said among them. "This is my shoe". they did not keep company with him as he uttered this keeping his own connection with his prosperity. It is said that the sage Falhtel Musuali went once to the house of his friend in his absence and said to his maid-servant: Take to me the cash box of your master. When she brought it to him he took therefrom some coins necessary for him . The maid-servant informed her master about it and he said : If you speak the truth. I set you free, because what you informed me is a good news. One
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day a man came to Hazrat Abu Hurairah and said : I wish to make friendship with you for the sake of God. He said : Do you know the rights of a friend ? He said : One of the rights of friendship is that your right in your properties.and wealth is not more than that of mine. He said : I have not as yet reached this stage. He said Then go away. Hazrat Joynal Abedin, son of Hazrat Hussain said to a man : Does anybody amongst you take anything what he wished after placing his hand in the pocket of his friend or in his purse ? He said : No He said : Then you are not friends. A party of man came to Hasan Basari and said : 0 Abu Sayeed, have you prayed? He said: Yes. They said : The market people have not yet prayed. He said : Who has taken religion from the market people ? I know that nobody among them gives charity.
.Baitual Maqaddas (holy Mosque of Jerusalem). He said : I wish to go there with you. Hazrat Ibrahim said to him. Yes, I agree with this condition that I shall have grater right in your money. He said : That will not be. Then he said : Your truthfulness pleased me. Whenever Ibrahim wished to have any companion with him, he never acted contrary to his wishes. He never accepted anybody as his companion if he did not agree with him. Once Ibrahim-b-Adham gifted away an ass belonging to this friend without his permission. When his friend returned, he became pleased with him., Hazrat Ibn Omar said: Once a man presented to a companion a fried goat's head. The latter sent it to his friend as he was more in need. The latter again sent it to another man. Thus it turned round seven persons and came to the first friends
It is-narrated that Hazrat Masruq fell in a heavy debt and his friend Khaisan also had debts. Hazrat Masruq cleared off the debts of the latter without his knowledge. Khaisan also in return cleared off the debts of Masruq without his knowledge. The Prophet comented brotherhood between Abdur Rahman-b-Auf and Sa'ad-b-Raby. Then Abdur Rahman gave option to his friend about his properties and said : God has given me abundant wealth. So take therefrom what you wish. Hazrat Sa'ad had the quality or equality and Hazrat Abduar Rahman had the quality of I'sar or self sacrifice which is better than equality. Hazrat Ali said : To spend 20 Dirhams for a friend for the sake of God, I consider better than to give charity of one hundred dirhams to the poor and the destitute. Follow the Holy Prophet in the matter
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of self- sacrifice. he entered once into a jungle with some of his companions and took two pieces of wood for tooth stick, one straight and another crooked. He gave the straight tooth-stick to a companion who said : 0 Messenger of God, by God, you are more simple than me. Therefore your are more entitled to the straight tooth-stick than myself. He said : If anybody keeps company of a man for a little while of the day question will be put to him about the rights of his companionship, weather he established he established it or destroyed it.
Once the Prophet went out to a well for bath. His companion Hazrat Huzaifa covered him with a screen of cloth till he finished his bath. After his bath, the Prophet was going to cover Huzaifa with the screen when he said to the Prophet: 0 Messenger of God, may my parents be sacrificed to ou, don't do it . T
en uzai a wished his bath. Then the Prophet said : If two men keep company with each other, he who is more kind to his companion is dearer to God.
It is narrated that Malek-b-Dinar and Muhammad-b-Wasi went to the house of Hazrat Hasan Basari in his absence. Muhammad took out a cup of food which was under his bed and began to eat. Malek said. Hold out your hand till the owner comes. Suddenly Hazrat Basari came there and said : 0 Malek, we used first to give trouble to one another in this way,. God ordered us to treat well with our friends. God said : Treat well with your friend. At that time, a friend handed over the key of his house to his friend who had option to spend whatever he wished . His friend, however, refrained from enjoying it for fear of God, when God revealed : Give them order to Regard brothers_ ass friends and to give them food to their satisfaction.
(2) Second right. To help a friend before asking in times of needs. There are different stages of this help. The lowest stage is to fulfill with pleasure and Kindness the needs of a friend at the time of his asking for it. A certain wise man said : When a man requests his friend to fulfill his certain need and he does not fulfill it, let him remind him second time. If he does not fulfill it without delay, let him recite this verse : God will resurrect the dead. This means that he and the dead are equal. A sage of yore maintained the family members of his friend after his death for forty years. The Prophet said : Behold, God has got cups in the world. Those are hearts. The dearest of hearts to God is that
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which is the most clean firm and soft, 'Clean' means clean of sins, 'firm' means firm in religion and soft means kind to friends and relatives.
In short, consider the needs of your friend as your own or more than this. As you are not indifferent to your needs, so don't be indifferent to the needs of your friend. Relieve him from asking you to fulfills his needs. Try to remove his difficulties and dangers. Hazrat Hasan Basari said : My friends are dear to me than my wife and children, as my family reminds me of this world. He said : If a man spreads the fame of his friend for the sake of God, God will send His angels of the Throne on the Resurrection Day to spread his fame in Paradise. There is one Hadis: If a man fneet with his friend for the sake of God, an angel
oo news, goo news o Paradise or you. Hazrat Atta said : Enquire of your friends once in every three days. If they are ill, meet with them. If they remain busy in works, help them. If they forget, remind them,. The Prophet once said to Ibn Omar : If you love anybody, ask him his name, his father's name and his address. If he is ill, go to see him. If he remains busy help him. Once Hazrat Abbas was asked : Who is dearest to you ? He said : My friend . He said . If a man comes to my assembly thrice without any necessity and does not get any benefit from me, I can understand that his object of search is not the world. Hazrat Sayeed said : I have got three duties for my friend. When he comes, I shall entertain him. When he speaks, I shall turn my face to him. When he sits, I shall give him good place. God says : They are kind to one another.
3. Third right about tongue: Sometimes you will talk with a friend and sometimes not. Don't disclose any secret talk which your friends tell you, even to their close friends. Don't disclose any secrets of your friend even though' there is separation from him, as it is sign of bad conduct, Don't speak of any bad thing about his friends, wives and children. Hazrat Anas said: The Prophet did not say anything he felt bad of the talk of anybody in his presence as he who repeats it to anybody is considered as rebuke. You should not keep secret the praise of your friend. To keep it secret is considered as envy. Don't back- bite your friend or any membet-of his family. Hazrat Ibnul Mobarak said: A believer searches for excuses, and a hypocrite searches for fault. The sage Fuzail said: It is the rule of religion to pardon the faults of a friend.
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The Prophet said: I seek refuge to God from a bad neighbour. If he sees any good, he keep it secret and if he sees any bad, he disclose it. There is no such a man who cannot be called good for some of his conducts, and cannot be called bad for some of his conducts. There is a Hadis that once a man praised another before the Prophet. On the following day he began to defame him. Then the Prophet said : You have praised him yesterday. and you are defaming him to-day : He said : By God, I told the truth yesterday about him and I have not told a lie about him to-day. He pleased me yesterday and I said what I knew about him as good. To-day he enkindled my anger and then I have said what I know about him as bad. The Prophet said : There is certainly sorcery in oratory. He compared it with sorcery. The Prophet said in another. Haids : Oratory and harshness are two branches of hypocrasy. There is in another Hadis. Lod hates full discription of anything. Imam Shafeyi said : There is no such Muslim who obeys God. and at the same time does not obey God, and there is no such Muslim who disobeys God and at the same time does not disobey Him. He is a just man whose virtues are more than his sins. Don't hold bad conjecture about your friend, because it is the back-biting of mind which is prohibited . Many conjectures remain upon mistakes. The Prophet said : God made unlawful four things for a believer - to shed the blood of a believer, to destroy his properties, to mar his honour and to harbour evil conjectures against him. The Prophet said : Beware of evil conjecture, because evil nonjecture is the worst false talks. To search the faults of others and to harbour evil conjecture show the evil path.
The Prophet said: Don't disclose the serest of one another, don's seek the secrets of one another, and don't cut off the connections of one another and unite the servants of God in brohterhood The object of pleasure to God is theman who imbues himself with divine attributes, as He is the keeper of secrets, pardoner of sins and kind to His servants. So how can you remain without forgiving one who is above you or who is lower than you ?
Jesus Christ said to his disciples: What do you do when the wind blows off the wearing cloth of your friends in his sleep and makes him naked ? They said : We his private parts with cloth. He said : Rather I see that you uncover his private parts. They said
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Glory be to God, who does this ? He said . If anybody amongst you hears any secret word about your brother, he adds to is other words and, discloses it in a big from, know that the faith of man is not perfect till he loves for others what he loves for himself . The lowers state friendship is that you will respect for your friends that treatment which you expect that he should mete out to you.
God says: " Woe to those who take full measure when they take from men and who reduce it when they give it to others ? Hope to do justice to others as you expect that others should do justice to you. The Prophet said : If man conceals the faults of his brother in this world. God will conceal his faults in the next. There is in another narration. He gives life as it were to a buried man. The Prophet said : The discussions of an assembly are trust except those of three assemblies--(1) the assembly where unlawful murders are committed,-.0) the.. assembly where unlawful fornications are made lawful, (3) and the assembly where wealth is made lawful "excep"y lawful means. The Prophet said : The consultations of two friends-are like trust. It is not lawful to disclose to another what one does not like. One wise man was asked.. How can you keep matters secret ? He said : I am like a grave for these mattes. The heart of a fool is in his tongue and the tongue of a wise man is in his heart. In other words. the fool cannot keep secret what is in his mind and discloses it in such a place which he does not know.
Hazrat Abbas said to his Abdullah: I see that Hazrat Omar
has given you superiority over the elderly companions
Remember my five instructions-(1) Don't disclose I is (Omar's)
secrets ; (2) don't vilify in his (Omar) presence ; (s) don't talk
courage to tell falsehood before him ; (4) don't disohcy his orders (5) and let him not see you committing any act of treachery. The
sage Shubi said : Each sentence of these five instructions is better than one thousand sentences. Hazrat Ibn Abbas said : Don't argue with a fool lest he give you trouble. Don't argue with a wise man, lest he envies you. The Prophet said . If a man gives up dispute over a useless matter. a house will be built for him in a corner of Paradise. If a man gives up dispute of a matter to which he has got right, a house will be built up for him in a high place of Paradise.
The Prophet said: Don't envy one another, don't cut off, connections from one another and make brotherhood among the
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servants of God-One. Muslim is brother to another Muslim. He does not oppress him, he does not deprive him and he does not dishonour him. Ibn Omamah Baheli said : The Prophet once came to us. We were then arguing withone another. He got enraged and said : Give up arguing; as there is little good in it.Give up dispute as it has got little benefit and it grows enmity between two friends. A certain wise man said : If a man dispute with his friends, his manliness goes away and his honour also goes away. The Prophet said : Don't dispute with your brother, don't ridicule him, don't break promise with him. He said : You give in charity ample wealth to the people but it does not comes out in a cheerful mood and in good manners.
(4) Accord good treatment to your friend in words and deeds: As is the friendship , so the treatment should be Tell such words which you friend loves. Use words of love and share his sorrows and happiness.The Prophet said : When one of you loves his brother, he should inform hire of his love. It increases love. If he knows that you love him, he will surely love you. When you come to know that he also loves you, your love for him will increase. So love will increase from both sides. The existence of love among the believers is the object of Shariat and religion. So send present to one another. For this the Prophet said : Send present to one another, you will then love one another. The Prophet gave simile of two friends as two hands, one of which works for the other. In other words, one friend helps another in all affairs.
The Prophet said: One Muslim is brother to another Muslim. He does not treat him bad, he does not spoil his honour and does not surrender him to the hands of his enemy., Don't back-bite your friend as God likened back-biting to eating the flesh of a dead brother. God says : Does one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother ? An angel presents before the soul of a man what he sees in the guarded Tablet in the form of a figure in dream. He shows back-biting in the form of eating the flesh of a dead animal. A back-biter sees in dream that he is eating the flesh of a dead animal. It means, that he roams about back-biting. The sage Muzahed said Don't remember your friend by back-biting him as you wish that no person should remember you with back-biting.
The Prophet said: Accord good treatment to your neighbour, you will be good Muslim . Accord good treatment to one who keeps your company, you will be a believer. The Prophet said
One believer is a mirror to another believer. The substance of this Hadis is that you should conduct yourself in such°a way that your friend may correct himself, by looking at your actions. The sage Maser was asked : Do you love one who tells your faults ? He said If he advises me with regard to the faults that are in myself and him, it is good, but, when he defames me before a party of men, it is not good. What he said is true, because to advise before the people is dishonourable.
The saint Jun-num Misir said: Don't keep company with God without obeying His commands. Don't keep company with the people without advice to one another. Don't keep company with your passion without differing from it. Don't keep company with the devil without being his enemy.' Hazrat Omar said : If a man holds out the faults of his brother before him, God will show kindness to him. For this reason, Hazrat Omar said to.Hazrat Salman : What are the actions of mine which appear disliking to you ? Hazrat Salman said : Pardon me for this. When he pressed Salman, he said : I heard that you have got two shirts, one of which you wear during day time and another at nighttime. I heard also that two kinds of curries are served before you at the same time. Hazrat Omar said : Neither of these two matters is true. Have you heard any other thing? Hazrat Salman said: No. Huzafia wrote to Hazrat Eusof-b-Asbat : I heard that you sold your religion in lieu of two pices. You said to the milk-seller . What is its price ? He said: Six pices. You pressed for lesser price. The milk seller said : Let it be so. The man was cognisant of your God fear and hence he sold the milk at reduced price to you Uncover your head from the screen of passion and give up the urge of passion.
(5) To forgive the faults of friends: If your friend commits sin and continues therein, advise him with sweet words. If he turns back, it is better. If he does not turn back, connection should be cut off according to Hazrat Abu Zarr. According to Abn Darda'a connection with him should not be cut off, as he will walk once in a straight path and another time in a crooked way. Hazart Ibrahim Nakyi said : Don't cut off connection with your friend and don't leave him at the time of his commission of sin as he may commit a sin to-day and give it up on the following day. There is in Hadis : Fear the slip of a learned man don't boycott him and hope for his return.
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One friend of Hazrat Omar went to Syria and stayed there for long. Hazrat Omar took this news from a certain man of Syria. He said : He has becomes the brother of the devil and he has begun to drink wine. Hazrat Omar wrote to him a letter saying in the name of the Most Compassionate, the Merciful (4.0: 1Q). He rebuked him in this letter. When he read it, he wept and said God said the truth Omar advised me. He then repented and
It has been narrated that one of two friends fell in love with woman and informed it to his friends. He said : If you wish, you may cut off friendship with me. His friend said : shall I lose a friend for his one sin ? Then he promised that he would fast till his friend came out of his love for the women. He fasted for forty days, as a result of which his friend's love for the woman went away from his heart. Then he took his meal and drink.
One of two friends went astray. One friend asked him : Have you not forsaken him ? He said : I wish to remain with him more now. I shall have to lift him up by catching him by his hand. I shall have to rebuke him with sweet words and I shall have to call him to his former conditions.
It has been narrated that two friends of Banu Israil engaged in divine service in a hill. One of them one day got down and went to a market to buy meat. He saw there an unchaste woman and fell in love with her., He called her in a lonely place and satisfied his lust. This continued for three days. His friends in the hill came down to search for him and found him following a woman. He embraced and kissed his friend and said : I have come to know your condition. Now let us go to the hill for divine service. So his friend went with him to the hill being repentant. One should not cut off the relationship from his relative who is seen engaged in a sin. God said to His Prophet in connection with his relatives. If your relatives disobey you, say : I am displeased with what you do-26:216Q. He did not say : I am pleased with your actions. Rather he said : I am displeased with your action. When Abu Darda'a was asked : Why do you not hate your friend who is doing this sin ? He said : Surely I hate his sinful etc, but how can I hate him as he is my brother in religion ? Brotherhood of religion is greater than that of relationship. A wise man was asked : Who is dearer to you, friend or a brother ? He said : If my brother is my friend, he is dearer to me. Hazrat Hasan Basari said:,
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How many friends there are who are not born of your mother. It has, therefore, been said : love is necessary for relationship but relationship is not necessary for love. Hazrat Jafar Sadeq said . Connection is made out of love of one day and relationship is made out of love of one year. God severs connection with one who severs connection with this relatives. It is compulsory to keep the tie of friendship. One should not make friendship with great sinner from the very beginning, but when it is done, it should not be cut off.
The Prophet said: The worst servants near God are those roam with slander and create separation in friendship . When one man committed a sin, his friend rebuked him. Then the Prophet said to him : Stop, don't rebuke him. Don't be a helper of the devil in the matter of your friend/' So it is better to keep away from the great sinners from the very'beginning than to serve. friendship with them after it is made, Imam Shafeyi said : If a man's anger is aroused but his anger does not arise, he is an ass. If a man's pleasure is incurred but he does not get pleased, he is a devil. So don't be an ass or a devil, Rather be an agent of your friend and bring pleasure to yourself, and adopt precaution of being a devil by not accepting it. A certain wise man said : I never rebuked anybody. The cause is that if an honourable man rebukes me, I pardon his fault as it is pardonable, but if a man of dishonour rebukes me, I save myself from his attack without replying to his rebuke. Whenever, your friend raises excuse, accept it, be it true of false.
The Prophet said: He who does not accept the excuse of his friend commits sin like the tax collector in the street. The Prophet said : A believer suddenly gets angry and his anger is soon appeased. He did not not mention that he does not get angry. God says : Those who appease anger etc. He did not say about the absence of anger. Now-a-days anger does not appease till harm is not done to a friend, But have patience at the trouble inflicted by him.,To remove anger from the soil of heart is not possible as it is a natural attribute of man. To appease it and to act contrary to its nature is possible. To act in agreement with anger is to take retaliation. The Prophet said: love your friend in a moderate manner, perchance he may become someday your enemy, Get angry at your enemy in a moderate manner, perchance he may turn to be your friend sometime. Hazrat Omar said: Let not your
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love exceed the limit and let not your hatred lead you to the path of destruction.
(6) Pray for your friend in his life time and even after his death: As you like to pray for yourself and the members of your family, so you should pray for those after death of your friend with whom your friend had connection. The Prophet said : If a man prays for his friend in his absence, the angels says, Similar prayer is for you. In another narration God says : 0 My servant, I will accept your prayer in your matter. There is in Hadis : If a man prays for his friend, it is better accepted than that for himself. The Prophet said : If man prays for his friend in his absence, it is not rejected . A good friend will follow you after your death with the angels, as there is a Hadis : When a man dies, the people say : What thing he has left behind, but the angels say What actions he has sent in advance ? They are glad for his good actions, they ask about his condition and intercede for him. The Prophet said : A- dead man in grave is like a drowning man in water. As a drowning man catches whatever he gets to save his life, so a -dead man remains anxious to get the prayer of father, children, brothers, friend and near relatives. The prayer- of a living man enters into the grave of a dead man like a hill of light. A certain sage said : The prayer of a living man for the dead is like a present. The angel takes a handker-chief of one bundle of light and comes to the dead man and says : This is present to you
from that friend of yours, this has come from that relative of
yours. He then becomes pleased with it as a living man becomes
pleased with a present.
(7) Wafa and Ikhlas. Wafa means to remain firm on the rights of friendship, to keep it lasting till the death of friend and to keep it even after his death with his wife, children and friends and relatives and to take care of them. Ikhlas means to fulfill the duties of friendship selflessly, for the sake of God. The object of friendship seflessly for the sake of God. The object of friendship for the sake of God is to get benefit in the next world. The Prophet said that seven persons will get shade under the shade of the Throne on the Resurrection Day. There are two persons out of them who love each other for the sake for God. A.;ortain woman once came to the Prophet who showed respect to her 0, being asked the reason, the Prophet said : This woman used Vl'-, come to our house during the life time of IChadija. To honov the,
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right of friendship appertains to faith Accord good treatment to friends. God says: Tell My servants that they should say those things that are best, for the devil sows dissensions among them-:7:53 Q. God says about Joseph that he said: When God took me out of prison, He was indeed good to me and took you all from the desert even after the devil had sown enmity between me and my brothers-12:100. Friendship becomes lasting when it is done for the sake of God. If one makes friendship for a certain purpose, a ends when the purpose is fulfilled. The result of friendship for God is not hatred for any Matter, temporal or spiritual. God says of this love for Him : They don't find any necessity (hatred) in their hearts for what they are given and they take to self sacrifice for friends. Finding any necessity means here
(8) Not to give trouble to a friend: Don't inflict trouble to
your friend and give up the giving of trouble and taking of
trouble. Don't ask anything from his wealth and properties.
Don't hope to get any benefit from his name and fame. Don't tell
him : Take my care and fulfill the duties towards me. Hope for
the rewards of his prayer, meet with him and help in his duties of
religion and seek nearness Qf God by fulfilling duties towards
him. A certain wise man said : The friend who places his honour
above the honour of his friend and thinks himself superior to his
friend, commits sin and allows another to commit it. The man
who considers his friend as his equal suffers mental agony. The man who considers himself inferior to his friend keeps himself and his friend safe Hazrat Ayesha said : A believer is brother to another believer. He does not seek advantage over him and does not inflict trouble on him. Hazrat Juniad said : I kept company with four classes of Sufis There were thirty Sufis in each class. They are Hares Mohasabi and his party men, Hasan Majusi and his party men, Sarri Sakti and his party men, Ibaul Karabi and his party men. Those who made friends out of them for the sake of God, did not inflict trouble on one another and did not keep company with one another without any reason. A certain sage said : Live with the worldly people with good manners. Live with the people of the next world with knowledge and live as you wish with the God-fearing people.
Know, 0 dear readers that there are three classes of people, You will gain benefit by association with only one class of people
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. You can do some benefit to the second class of people and you receive no harm at their hands, nor you will receive any benefit from them. You cannot do any benefit to the third class of people, rather you will receive harm as a result of your association with them. These people are fools and ill tempered. Don't give up the second class of people as they will do you benefit in the next world by their intercession and invocation. God sent revealation to Moses : If you obey Me, you will have many friends. In other words : If you show sympathy to them, bear patience at their harms and do not hate them, you will have many friends, A wise man said : The love of one is lasting who has got no outward show. A certain companion said : God curses those who inflict trouble on others.
The Prophet said: I and the God fearing men of my followers are free from infliciting troubles. A wise man said : When a man does four works in the house of his friend his love becomes perfect-)1) when he eats with him, (2) when he does necessary works with him, (3) when he prays with him, (4) and when he sleeps with him. The Prophet said :'A man is upon the religion of his friend. There is no good in the company of a friend who does not consider good for his friend what he considers good for himself.' Look to your friend with such a look of love that he can know your love. Look to his good deeds and not to his faults. It has been reported that whoever sat before the Prophet, he used to show his face to him. Every man thought that he was honoured more by the Prophet. Even his sitting, his hearing, his dissension and arguing with him in sweet words are held in the same assembly. His assembly was that of shame, humility, modesty and trust. The Prophet wore a smiling look before his companisions and remand satisfied with what the companion remained satisfied.
SUMMARY OF DUTIES TOWARDS FRIENDS
If you wish good company, meet with your friends and enemies with smiling countenance and do not dishonour them. Don't fall into fear from them. Take to gravity without pride. Be modest without meanness. Adopt middle course in all your actions. The two extremes of every action in condemned. Don't look to both sides of your own: Don't look long towards anything. Don't keep standing in the assembly of many men. When you sit, sit comfortably. Don't make sound of your fingers.
Vol-II Love and Brotherhood 115
Don't move your beard and ring, don't make pick of you teeth, don't enter your finger into your nose, don't spit much, don't cleanse teeth off and on don't drive flies and mosquitores very much, don't yawn much before the people in prayer and in other deeds, make your assembly as guide, make you disenssien in an orderly manner. Use sweet words with one whom you discuss, don't be too much pleased in any matter. Don't request for repetation of any word. Be silent near those who arouse laughter and tell stories.
Don't Discuss about your satisfaction with your children, servants poetry, composition and books and other things. Don't be engaged in telling stories like servants and slaves. Don't use oil or antimony in great quantity. Don't pass urine and stole off and on. Don't term an oppressor as brave. Don't keep informed your wife and children of the amount of your wealth and other properties, because if they see your little wealth, you will become humiliated to them, and if they see your too much wealth, you won't be able to satisfy them. Don't fear them so much as they can treat with you harshly. Don't be so much soft to them as they should sit on your head. Don't keep laughing with the servants or else your gravity will reduce thereby. Keep honour at the time of disputes and be careful of your ignorance. Give up haste and think of your proof. Don't hint much with your hand, look at those who remains behind you or else don't look much look at those Don't sit on your knees. Speak when anger is appeased.
If the ruler appoints you as one of his near adivsers, keep sharp look like edges of teeth. If he is at laugh with you, don't be safe at his sudden change to you. Treat with him like a a boy. Speak according to his with till he commands to commit a sin. If he shows kindness on you, don't treat unjusty with his wife and children taking its advantage. Be careful of the solvent friend as he is the greatest enemy. Don't honour your wealth more than your honour. When you enter an assembly, salute them first. Don't go in front of one who goes forward. Sit wherever you get space. Salute those who come to you when you sit. Don't sit in the middle of the pathway. If you sit there, shut up your sight, ' help the oppressed and the weak, show path to the misguided, respond to salutation, give charity to the beggars, enjoin good and avoid evil, spit in its proper place, don't spit towards the Ka'ba norto,s rright side but to the left side or under your left foot.
116 The Book of Wordly Usages Vol-II
Don't sit together with the kings and rulers. When you sit, give up back-biting, falsehood and secret things, speak very little to them about your necessities, treat with them with words of a gentleman and mention their qualities. Don't cut jokes with them. Don't fear them too much. If their love for you it expressed, it is better . Don't yawn before them and don't make pick after meal. Hear every word in front of a ruler but don't break secrets and pursue honour of his inmates. Don't sit with the people in general. If you sit with them, give up useless talks. Be indifferent to their evil words. Meet with them rarely even in times of necessity. Don't cut jokes with the wise and the fools as the wise will hate you and the fools will go against you. Fear goes away at jokes and laughter, honour is disobeyed, hatred increases, taste of love goes away, defects fall in the wisdom of a learned man, it gives encouragement to the fools, honour is endangered before the wise, hatred increases and for that becomes dead. It makes God distant, and carelessness is earned. The Prophet said : If a man sits in an assembly where much useless talks are held and he says before he gets up from the assembly : Glory to God, 0 God, Thine is all praise, I bear witness that there is no deity but Thou. I seek forgiveness to Thee and I turn to Thee , he is forgiven of the sins he commits it that assembly.
THE END OF CHAPTER 5 OF VOLUME 2
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